Post 41

Greetings and salutations, my organic friends and colleagues. I hope everyone is breathing through their masks, not touching anyone, and staying a proper 6 feet away from the rest of humanity, as our good leaders have instructed us. I occasionally feel as if I am mad. That I’ve snapped and my brain has melted and I’m now insane. But, in the case of today, I saw a man dressed in a leopard print woman’s bathing suit that was too small walking by the river in 1980’s high-tops with athletic socks pulled up his shins and I thought, nope. I’m doing just fine. So there. That is my gift to you today.

I am still reading the Emergency Care and Transportation of the Sick and Injured. Today, I’m learning about trauma stabilization techniques. You all will be as amused as I was to learn that I got a B- on my respiratory stabilization exam. That’s right, folks, In this pandemic where ventilator skills and respiratory arrest is literally the only medical subject you need to know, this EMT got a B-. Scored an A+ on chemical interventions, however, so that’s something. If you do die because I can’t run a ventilator, I can probably bring you back with some magic pills…zombies, anyone?

I am also reading, Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters. It is delightful. There is a Fang Beast. A bizarre tribe of cannibalistic trolls near the Dashwoods’ cottage. Mrs. Middleton is a kidnapped Polynesian princess constantly trying to kill her husband and escape home. One of the gentlewomen gets eaten by a giant jellyfish. This is my kind of story and I am amply amused.

My other amusement is the care and feeding of this little gem: Human Paper Torso. I am attempting to do it for no money and it is wicked hard. I thought, oh, don’t fuss, it’s just a little bit of folded paper. You can do this! However, I realized my first strategic mistake was not having any A4 sized paper. My second was not having any 150 g/m2 paper. My third was not having any white glue/glue stick. These were serious errors indeed. I am building the heart first. It’s tiny. It’s extremely challenging to fold. I have it taped together until I can find some white glue. I hang my head in hubristic shame. It’s such a delicate little thing. I’m going to try to keep going (cause I’m bored out of my freakin’ mind), but it is extremely difficult at these small scales. But! You all should try it too! Tell me how it goes!

I have engaged Beta Reader 1 to identify a good skull creation method so that I may practice the applications of an oropharynx and nasopharynx adjunct, intubation method, and tracheotomy without spending any money and without killing any pets or humans. Such fragile little things. Can’t wait for medic school.

Finally, Wind and Rain the audiobook version kicks off this week! Beta Reader 3 is stuck reading again (since she’s the only one who’s actually read the whole thing), but please, check it out here or on Anchor.fm. We have a podcast, duckies. A real-live podcast. Shiver me timbers.

Finally, here’s this week’s story. Inspired by semi-true events. Burning Branch and Bone

Stay safe out there, meatsacks.