WOW...STUFF HAS HAPPENED

So.

Here we are.

It turns out love is really good for you. Takes the pain away and definitely has become a stabilizing force in my life. I never thought that this kind of love and loving was possible. I found a person who genuinely understands and accepts me. A person I enjoy being with. A person that enjoys being with me. A person who will grow and change with me. This is remarkable. For the first time, I feel like I have roots and I can take a deep breath.

We live in Washington D.C. now. Japan was too much. The job was wrong, the place wasn’t right, the time wasn’t right. Here, there is time to be in love. There is space to exist and be myself. It’s tremendous. Thanks to her, I’m starting a PhD program next week and I’ve been informed that I’m going to finish this one. No more moving, no more blowing around like the wind. We are a thing. A partnership, stable and quiet, that can last a lifetime.

I really never thought that I would have the chance to be married and with children, have a family, have a home. Go after my PhD with a partner, with support. All of this comes from being loved by her. I’m amazed by how opposite and how complimentary we are as a couple. Like two puzzle pieces, fit into something whole. There is a Chinese myth that I’m probably going to butcher, but it characterizes how I think about it. In the tradition of the five elements (wood, metal, water, earth, fire), there are animals associated with each. The firebird is associated with fire, with the feminine and the home. It’s a symbol of beauty, renewal, and excess. The dragon is associated with water, with wisdom and material plenty. It’s a symbol of leadership, stability, and stagnation. The two together create the Taoist symbol of yin and yang - each augmenting and balancing the other. That’s what she is to me. I feel so calm with her. I never knew that was possible - that someone could fill up my life the way she does and make the world quiet.

Remarkable.