Post 30
HAPPY FRIDAY, Y’ALL!
Man, it’s exciting to think of not having to work for another couple days. I’m not sure about everyone else, but being an adult has been POWERFUL boring lately. I’ll tell you what. Every day is like a long, unproductive DMV session, filled with forms and nitpickers and bullshit that can just RUIN MY LIFE. Jesus.
But, tonight, I have a lovely, long run planned. Going for 10 miles and the air smells like rain and sunshine. I can’t wait to get this over with. I spent six hours checking formatting for a technical proposal. Six hours. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck my life. So boring. My eyes may fall out of my head.
To reward myself for such diligent caretaking of other people’s problems, I read the new Fairy Tail 100 Year Quest, Volume 1 and 2. Mashima is BACK! Thank god. I almost had a nerd stroke with the ending of the regular Fairy Tail manga last year. NOTHING changed. Mirajane should have been made the new Guildmaster. Jellal should have run the new Magic Council. Erza should have been promoted to a Wizard Saint, and Levy x Gajeel should finally get a proper hook-up story arc so we can see that romantic crap instead of having to rely on fanfic, pinterest, and general imagination for what is obviously a good story. Fuck you, Mashima.
But, BUT! Here’s the new volumes out and they are classic Fairy Tail delightful. Jellal may be a dragon-god in human form, Natsu, Gray, and Wendy all have very cool power upgrades (especially Wendy - she was a waste of a character until the end of the old series, but in the new version, she’s a pretty good enchantress and a decent Dragon Slayer, so I don’t have to have a stroke every time she falls over in a bikini or makes another shameful comment about her lack of chest. Fuck you and your obsession with GIGANTIC boobs, Mashima).
The art is all done by a new person - Ueda-sensei- but it looks great. A new evil guild. Some nice villains that have actually interesting powers and a whole story arc featuring Jellal (god-willing it stays with him. Talk about a waste of a character. For a wizard-saint, almost-villain who has power enough to control ERZA, they did precisely nothing with him last series. Which is a crying shame because who doesn’t love the tortured, emo-boy with delusions of grandeur? Erza will always be my number one, but Jellal is perfect for her. Such a great character that Mashima insists on WASTING. Fuck you, Mashima.)
Yona of the Dawn volume 22 is also due out in February, so I’m very excited about that. Hak is just dreamy. Love his character, especially now that they are finally giving him some romance-time with our spunky heroine. Although, I do kind of get a yaoi vibe for him and Su-won. Two handsome, emotionally unavailable tortured boys bound together by love is kind of a more interesting plot line than matching Yona up with the undeniably delicious Hak. But what do I know? If I were writing it, I’d probably have the face off be over Hak, not the red-head. But I’m not a professional writer. Hmm. Between Yona and Erza, maybe I have a thing for red-heads? How cliche of me. I will now hang my head in shame.
Just as a little bit of candy for those readers with an interest in such things…I tried reading Sailor Moon this week. Oh. My. God. First of all, they are adorable. I can absolutely see why this horrible excuse for a story dominated cartoons and girls’ lives for so many years. I just want to tug on their little ears and smoosh their faces, they are all so cute and tiny and girly. Second of all, it is a travesty against women, women-kind, and everything good and pure in a work of fiction. It’s awful. Tuxedo Mask and Sailor Moon check off every single romantic cliche known to human-kind in the first fifty pages! Are you shitting me right now? Seriously, like you can just check all the plot arcs off a list of, “Bad ideas authors have already done a million times, but that are extremely satisfying to read.” No wonder women are all basket-cases. As a friend of mine pointed out, ‘This has to have been written by a man.’ I did not look it up, but I will, because HOLY SHIT was this bad. There were panels of these scantily-clad middle-schoolers saying things like, “I, Sailor Mars, will deal out righteous justice with my high-heeled legs!” Nope. NOPE. What pervy monster did this to what could have been an actual story?
Sshh. Don’t tell anyone. I was very amused. I read the whole thing. It was delicious. And if I didn’t feel like a total pedophile, I would have ordered volume 2. But they are in middle school, for chrissakes and they are fighting in high-heels and short skirts and transform by yelling, “Make-up!” and throwing tiaras and at this point, I had a stroke, so I had to take a break.
I also seem to have read somewhere that 50% of Japan’s population under 30 is either a virgin or celibate by choice. I blame Sailor Moon for this. It’s all kinds of confusing in all kinds of ways, and I don’t think I can have sex again until I wash some of that imagery out of my skull. I’ll just go back to fantasizing about Erza and Jellal. If they don’t get together in this new reboot of Fairy Tail, I am going to lose my shit. Seriously. Fuck you, Mashima.
In my personal life, I seem to be stuck in the purgatory of all long-distance relationships. It suuucks. I miss sex. I miss monogamy. I miss IRL dating stuff. You’d think for an android I’d be better at virtual relationships, but nope. Analog all the way. Oh, I am getting my kink on a little, at least through fiction, since evidently I’m only going to have sex once every ten years or so. Come on, 2030! Can’t wait!
I am reading Sunstone. It’s a lesbian love story with some BDSM in there for good luck and great art. It’s really good. Beautifully drawn comic with some magnificent one-liners and sass. The characters are sweet and fun and the author puts some of the draft material/making-of bits in the back that are really good. Big fan. It’s a small, limited substitute for actual physical contact, but I will take it. Sigh. Long-distance has to be the worst of all worlds. All the insecurity, loss, and loneliness of being alone but with all the responsibility and sensitivity of being in a relationship still required. BLOWS. I am comforted in that most people seem to feel this way, so at least I’m not unusual in this. Small comfort.